It's kind of funny; the Germans make it to virtually every semi-final, but, just as surely, they get to a point where they don't fire. No matter how often, it happens, I don't expect it.
I didn't expect Balotelli to behave long enough to deliver this type of performance. I also didn't expect Cassano to step up his play as he did. It hasn't been a good time on the pitch for him since coming back from his heart issues. But, he seemed to rediscover his lost genius in a moment of German softness. While his chip-cross to Balotelli wasn't the most graceful-looking thing, it had its intended effect.
A solitary blip can be explained by momentary softness, but the German defense proved to be comprehensively awful. Balotelli's second came with the German centre-halves fast asleep; he had so much space that it didn't take much precision on the pass.
This is how it went for the German defense. The rest of the Italians were typically neurotic in their finishing, which kept them from scoring the half dozen that was attainable.
What stood out to me was the look of every Italian in the stadium after Balotelli's opener: You'll never score. This was apparently the same sentiment that the squad had. They dropped their typical philosophy of not conceding at all costs in favor of flair and flowing football. The Germans had no answer and were torn apart. Sure, the Germans took many shots at Buffon, but he was able to comfortably deal with everything, the late consolation penalty notwithstanding.
ITA over SPA - Unlike the rest of the world, which has tired of Spain and the passing, my pick is for personal preference of style. I like the dour football the Italians typically play. If you're looking for the aesthetic, hope that Spain score quickly and Italy have to chase the goal. The longer the match is level, to more dour it will be.
For me, it's just a matter of seeing that Spain aren't clearly better than Italy. Italy have the blueprint on how to deal with Spain. What's more, Balotelli- unlike is close to the perfect target man for their style. He is not neurotic like the rest of them because, whereas the Italians typically take their best players and turn them into defenders, they couldn't do that with Balotelli. To boot, he doens't have that slap-happy neurosis evident in the rest of the Italian attack. Therefore Italy will win. But, if Spain win, I'll bet it'll be fun.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Euro 2012 SF#2
If I ever question myself that I have too little faith in people, examples such as last night's whistling of the Spanish kickabout answer me.
Spain play football pretty much like Floyd Mayweather boxes. They are so confident in their technical ability that they will probe the defense and back out. If they find that you've bunkered up, whereas Germany will let you attack them to expose yourself, Spain will probe and wait as long as it takes to get you open.
But, people are apparently tiring of Spain'scautious patient style. Rather than bemoan the bunkered up defense, they whinge about Spain having so much of the ball.
Despite everybody's sudden perverse aversion to the tiki-taka- they weren't whistling when Spain were tearing holes in the Portugal defense- the better team advanced. They should really be whistling when Spain get the ball to/in the box and the strikers decide to go backwards. Then, they could acknowlege the real problems; Messi doesn't play for Spain, David Villa is hurt and Torres is damaged goods, so there are no strikers to finish the dance.
C. Ronaldo took to the wing more than the previous two matches and was not as effective in this match, skying and shooting over on several occasions. Princess also decided he was going to go 5th on the PKs, thinking he'd snag the winning kick, only to be closed out. Can you imagine what flopping, crying dance he had in store? He would've made Nadal look like Raymond Bourque.
Still, I did not expect that both Pique and Ramos would convert. That was the separation.
GER over ITA - So, will Germany prove to be the same "Culona Inchiavabile" that Berlusconi purports its prime minister to be? My Italian buddy says, "Dobbiamo chiavarla. Se no, non si va in finale." They will have to hold their collective nose and venture/succeed where Silvio could/would not.
While generally reasonable, he is almost cocksure that Italy will advance, citing that Germany has never beaten Italy when it has mattered. That, all those other times, Italy has had the team to do it, is immaterial.
In addition to playing up the importance, status and supposed effectiveness of Schweinsteiger, he is banking on the Italian philosophy that the goal will come from somewhere; it will be conceived/begotten, even if they don't actively try to score. He's probably also banking on the Germans not being fast enough to stretch the Italians, so that when the Italians do make a goal out of thin air, they will do it late enough that it will be enough to win.
Hey, Germany's not THAT good. I do think Italy, much more so than Greece, have the wherewithal to destroy the game and demoralize the German attack. They still have to score, however, otherwise they'll again wind up in PKs, where Germany almost never lose. I do not believe that Italy can both hold out and score.
Spain play football pretty much like Floyd Mayweather boxes. They are so confident in their technical ability that they will probe the defense and back out. If they find that you've bunkered up, whereas Germany will let you attack them to expose yourself, Spain will probe and wait as long as it takes to get you open.
But, people are apparently tiring of Spain's
Despite everybody's sudden perverse aversion to the tiki-taka- they weren't whistling when Spain were tearing holes in the Portugal defense- the better team advanced. They should really be whistling when Spain get the ball to/in the box and the strikers decide to go backwards. Then, they could acknowlege the real problems; Messi doesn't play for Spain, David Villa is hurt and Torres is damaged goods, so there are no strikers to finish the dance.
C. Ronaldo took to the wing more than the previous two matches and was not as effective in this match, skying and shooting over on several occasions. Princess also decided he was going to go 5th on the PKs, thinking he'd snag the winning kick, only to be closed out. Can you imagine what flopping, crying dance he had in store? He would've made Nadal look like Raymond Bourque.
Still, I did not expect that both Pique and Ramos would convert. That was the separation.
GER over ITA - So, will Germany prove to be the same "Culona Inchiavabile" that Berlusconi purports its prime minister to be? My Italian buddy says, "Dobbiamo chiavarla. Se no, non si va in finale." They will have to hold their collective nose and venture/succeed where Silvio could/would not.
While generally reasonable, he is almost cocksure that Italy will advance, citing that Germany has never beaten Italy when it has mattered. That, all those other times, Italy has had the team to do it, is immaterial.
In addition to playing up the importance, status and supposed effectiveness of Schweinsteiger, he is banking on the Italian philosophy that the goal will come from somewhere; it will be conceived/begotten, even if they don't actively try to score. He's probably also banking on the Germans not being fast enough to stretch the Italians, so that when the Italians do make a goal out of thin air, they will do it late enough that it will be enough to win.
Hey, Germany's not THAT good. I do think Italy, much more so than Greece, have the wherewithal to destroy the game and demoralize the German attack. They still have to score, however, otherwise they'll again wind up in PKs, where Germany almost never lose. I do not believe that Italy can both hold out and score.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Euro 2012 SF#1 Barca vs Real
tee-hee, get it
SPA over POR - Most of these words- and prediction- still apply, and we're surely in for the same type of match, with the killer finishing again lacking.
It amazes me that so many people, who claim to love the beautiful game, have had about enough of Spain's tiki-taka and want Portugal to take them out. Leaving aside that they are miserable bastards, probably descendants of the people that killed kittens, or puppies, or something, so y'all want Portugal?!
I prefer destruction and counter as the method of winning knockout tournament football, but have to admire any style that has conquered football...and would embrace the challenge of, in turn, trying to conquer it. The tiki-taka engages the mind, makes you have to think ahead, both to play it and to challenge it. Portugal is not going to offer an alternative or remedy to that. They are a 1-1/2 man team and will hope that C.Ronaldo and Nani conjure up something to win the day.
C.Ronaldo has sold me that he will do the dirty work necessary to score. For me to believe that he can grow hair on his legs, he still has to do it and win.
SPA over POR - Most of these words- and prediction- still apply, and we're surely in for the same type of match, with the killer finishing again lacking.
It amazes me that so many people, who claim to love the beautiful game, have had about enough of Spain's tiki-taka and want Portugal to take them out. Leaving aside that they are miserable bastards, probably descendants of the people that killed kittens, or puppies, or something, so y'all want Portugal?!
I prefer destruction and counter as the method of winning knockout tournament football, but have to admire any style that has conquered football...and would embrace the challenge of, in turn, trying to conquer it. The tiki-taka engages the mind, makes you have to think ahead, both to play it and to challenge it. Portugal is not going to offer an alternative or remedy to that. They are a 1-1/2 man team and will hope that C.Ronaldo and Nani conjure up something to win the day.
C.Ronaldo has sold me that he will do the dirty work necessary to score. For me to believe that he can grow hair on his legs, he still has to do it and win.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Cheerio, cheerio, cheerio!
For the England-Italy match, I did something, largely for the favor of my company, I rarely do; I watched a sporting match, one in which I had much interest, in a bar- two bars to be exact. I exited the first place because it just wasn't properly set up to show a match and it was infested with dilettantes. While preparing to leave, I resorted to watching on my phone. The feed on my phone was actually 8 seconds ahead of the in-house feed. I wanted so badly for someone to score, so I could scream GOAL! while the rest of these bananas were still watching the build-up.
The second joint was, in the Jules Winnfield sense, a more friendly place, albeit one where the friends had almost zero understanding. I wound up explaining nuances of soccer to several people, who seemed gripped by my explanations, yet appalled that I would hold so much knowledge.
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| And I will strike down with great vengeance and fuuuurious anger... |
The predicted penalties beckoned, albeit without the goal I credited to each side. To explain why that was would involve rehashing the match.
I texted a(n) Italian buddy of mine that I called direction on both Rooney and Cole’s PKs and called Pirlo’s chip- I think Joe Hart was the only person in the civilized world who didn’t know that was coming- and, though I didn’t tell him, Montolivo’s miss (at least I said Montolivo was going to hit the post; he didn’t even do that). I’m glad Buffon heard me for Cole. I made no call on Gerrard’s because, quite frankly, I didn’t want him to miss. I also missed Balotelli- not for his kick, but for his reaction. I called that he was going to stand motionless and say, I hate you all.
I think Pirlo’s PK messed with Hart’s head. By his expressions before Italy’s last two kicks, Hart was projecting his fear and that he didn’t know WTF to do. It was proven (to me) by Italy softly rolling two kicks and Hart getting sent the wrong way.
For his part, my Italian buddy has remained humble, saying only that he is “hopeful.” I see those Germans as being a problem.
The funniest thing I saw was when Parker was subbed out for Jordan (Bieber) Henderson. He had this look, like, you took me off for this {redacted}.
Will another encounter of the Iberians produce the same drab mach of 2010? Does a Spain-Germany final beckon, or will the Italians find a way to shut down the Germans, while finding the German net themselves? Italy beating the Germans at the penalty spot would truly be a departure from form.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Euro 2012 QF#4
France put me to sleep. I'd like to tell you more about this game- other than Spain looked in championship form- but, I fell asleep halfway through the second half. I think the same thing happened to Malouda, who was in criminal dereliction of duty in being a pedestrian bystander to Xavi Alonso's run into the box for the opener.
It does bother me that Spain do not get much output from all that pretty play.
ITA over ENG - This one will likely prove more fun to talk about than it will be to watch.
England do have a shot here against another side that don't always seek the output. But, while you have to admire that this side, which would have trouble cracking the top four in its own league, is doing, I've not seen top-level footall out of them. Gerrard is playing meh, as are most of them, for that matter.
As we've often seen from him at manchester united, when Rooney isn't getting the ball the way he likes, he will drift back far enough so that he does, even to the point of playing defense. While that's good on him, that's not necessarily to the greater good of the side. Further, unlike united, there isn't quite the vested interest in keeping England in the tournament, so they are not likely to get calls (even if they had Howard Webb out there).
The strategy will surely be to score as the Croatians did against Italy- and, as England have scored at least once in each match, with a Gerrard cross finding a head- with Chiellini showing that he's not quite as good when he can't clutch and grab. In fact, Chiellini won't be around at all for this one. Yes, the Italians don't have the rock solid defense to the standards of past editions, but they have Pirlo playing at Forlán-level self-assuredness. He will surely create something that will result in output. Putting enough pressure on Italy to force Pirlo to help out on tracking and defense will limit exhibition of his genius, but England don't really have the speed to open up Italy.
This one smells like 1-1 penalties.
It does bother me that Spain do not get much output from all that pretty play.
ITA over ENG - This one will likely prove more fun to talk about than it will be to watch.
England do have a shot here against another side that don't always seek the output. But, while you have to admire that this side, which would have trouble cracking the top four in its own league, is doing, I've not seen top-level footall out of them. Gerrard is playing meh, as are most of them, for that matter.
As we've often seen from him at manchester united, when Rooney isn't getting the ball the way he likes, he will drift back far enough so that he does, even to the point of playing defense. While that's good on him, that's not necessarily to the greater good of the side. Further, unlike united, there isn't quite the vested interest in keeping England in the tournament, so they are not likely to get calls (even if they had Howard Webb out there).
The strategy will surely be to score as the Croatians did against Italy- and, as England have scored at least once in each match, with a Gerrard cross finding a head- with Chiellini showing that he's not quite as good when he can't clutch and grab. In fact, Chiellini won't be around at all for this one. Yes, the Italians don't have the rock solid defense to the standards of past editions, but they have Pirlo playing at Forlán-level self-assuredness. He will surely create something that will result in output. Putting enough pressure on Italy to force Pirlo to help out on tracking and defense will limit exhibition of his genius, but England don't really have the speed to open up Italy.
This one smells like 1-1 penalties.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Euro 2012 QF#3
One of my buddies is keen to remind me that, as per Trapatoni, all you need is one chance. There are a number of reasons why that is some pie-in-the-sky bullshit.
Greece gave it the ol' college try and lost. The finishing by Khedira and Reus illustrated why Greece was never going to win. I don't know what y'all thought was going to happen.
Still, the way it played out should make the Greeks infinitely prouder than if they held out for 80 minutes, only to lose 1-0 without showing any discernable attack. After falling behind, they had to go looking for a goal...and they GOT it. At 60 minutes, they had Merkel- that, as per Berlusconi, unfuckable lard-ass- squirming in her bloomers...and the rest of the Germans squirming in their thongs.
Now, we get into the really saucy matchups.
SPA over FRA - I must be losing my mind. I really want to pick North Africa. Spain can be picked off. There is a blueprint. Milan showed it and a Chelsea side with more talent turned the trick. While France still feel like they have something to prove after embarrassing themselves in South Africa and, despite the respect I have for Larry White (Laurent Blanc), I just don't believe that they can pull it off.
Greece gave it the ol' college try and lost. The finishing by Khedira and Reus illustrated why Greece was never going to win. I don't know what y'all thought was going to happen.
Still, the way it played out should make the Greeks infinitely prouder than if they held out for 80 minutes, only to lose 1-0 without showing any discernable attack. After falling behind, they had to go looking for a goal...and they GOT it. At 60 minutes, they had Merkel- that, as per Berlusconi, unfuckable lard-ass- squirming in her bloomers...and the rest of the Germans squirming in their thongs.
Now, we get into the really saucy matchups.
SPA over FRA - I must be losing my mind. I really want to pick North Africa. Spain can be picked off. There is a blueprint. Milan showed it and a Chelsea side with more talent turned the trick. While France still feel like they have something to prove after embarrassing themselves in South Africa and, despite the respect I have for Larry White (Laurent Blanc), I just don't believe that they can pull it off.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Euro 2012 QF#2
Portugal was all over the Czechs and fully deserved the victory. C.Ronaldo has finally stepped up for his country. He had a number of chances in this game and was both unlucky and a bit optimistic with his efforts. He was supremely unlucky when he hit the post at the end of the first half, after a brilliant takedown and turn. Just as well, because, had he scored, we would have never seen and heard the end of it.
He did make good late in the game, out-hustling his way to a cross and heading home. This is important because C.Ronaldo again showed the guts previously missing in international play. At that point in the match, it would be very easy to give up on a play that involved getting in front of a defender when starting from out-of-position. Sure, it can be argued that he snuck up on the guy (as opposed to out-muscling him for position), but a late goal to break a scoreless match deserves no qualifiers, especially when no one else was going to do it.
I don't like praising him. I can only hope he falls on his face in the semis.
GER over GRE - What Greece will we get? Will it be the one that was torched for 3 goals in the opening stages of the group matches, or the one that didn't concede the rest of the time? Will it be the one that could only score from opponents' gaffes, or are they capable of opening up the Germans?
The silver lining is that, while all the goals were scored through weakness on its left, Greece seem to have solved their left-back problem through Tzavellas, who looks like he knows what he is doing.
Further good news is that Karagounis is suspended. I know that he is their captain and most capped player. Greeks swear by this guy, but I have seen nothing but shyte from him for about 10 years. How many poor free kicks and corners must he take before they decide that he is not a creative presence? In this tournament (and WC 2010), the rest of the team is so adept at destroying the opposition's attack, he and Samaras have time to destroy their own. Maybe, just maybe, we can see someone with some creativity.
I would like to see Fetfatzidis have a turn. He is only 21 and, at 5'5", easily stuffed in a German's pocket, but, if this kid is the future, he needs to get a run-out in this level of football...now.
Regardless, I think Greece will finally run into a side that will not be fazed by its tactics. Historically, the Greek game has not stood up to German, Italian or Spanish sides.
Aside- the draw sets up so that Greece could face each of those sides...that would really burn my theory.
Seriously, unlike the rest of Greece's opponents, Germany is used to always being the favorite and having to deal with an opponent bent on destroying the game and frustrating them. In these situations, superior size, running and technical ability almost always carry the Germans. When they are beaten, it typically takes a superior individual performer, which is something Greece doesn't have.
He did make good late in the game, out-hustling his way to a cross and heading home. This is important because C.Ronaldo again showed the guts previously missing in international play. At that point in the match, it would be very easy to give up on a play that involved getting in front of a defender when starting from out-of-position. Sure, it can be argued that he snuck up on the guy (as opposed to out-muscling him for position), but a late goal to break a scoreless match deserves no qualifiers, especially when no one else was going to do it.
I don't like praising him. I can only hope he falls on his face in the semis.
GER over GRE - What Greece will we get? Will it be the one that was torched for 3 goals in the opening stages of the group matches, or the one that didn't concede the rest of the time? Will it be the one that could only score from opponents' gaffes, or are they capable of opening up the Germans?
The silver lining is that, while all the goals were scored through weakness on its left, Greece seem to have solved their left-back problem through Tzavellas, who looks like he knows what he is doing.
Further good news is that Karagounis is suspended. I know that he is their captain and most capped player. Greeks swear by this guy, but I have seen nothing but shyte from him for about 10 years. How many poor free kicks and corners must he take before they decide that he is not a creative presence? In this tournament (and WC 2010), the rest of the team is so adept at destroying the opposition's attack, he and Samaras have time to destroy their own. Maybe, just maybe, we can see someone with some creativity.
I would like to see Fetfatzidis have a turn. He is only 21 and, at 5'5", easily stuffed in a German's pocket, but, if this kid is the future, he needs to get a run-out in this level of football...now.
Regardless, I think Greece will finally run into a side that will not be fazed by its tactics. Historically, the Greek game has not stood up to German, Italian or Spanish sides.
Aside- the draw sets up so that Greece could face each of those sides...that would really burn my theory.
Seriously, unlike the rest of Greece's opponents, Germany is used to always being the favorite and having to deal with an opponent bent on destroying the game and frustrating them. In these situations, superior size, running and technical ability almost always carry the Germans. When they are beaten, it typically takes a superior individual performer, which is something Greece doesn't have.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Euro 2012 QF#1
POR over CZE - At the risk of riding alongside the C.Ronaldo bandwagon, I have to believe he will back up his performance against the Dutch. Further, I didn't believe the Czech's had enough firepower to last; I still don't. It would be interesting to see whether the Czech's sic their pet Ethiopian on C.Ronaldo, or if the the latter steers well clear of the former, either by staying on the other side or playing more in the middle.
It should be entertaining, as I don't think these sides will be terribly interested in shutting down the opposition.
It should be entertaining, as I don't think these sides will be terribly interested in shutting down the opposition.
Some more football...Euro 2012
What do we know? What have we seen?
Group A - Dick Advocaat seemingly disregarded everything he has ever learned about football. He sent the Russians out to play cautiously against a Greek side that had been shredded to pieces in the opening part of each of its first two matches. He tried to get Russians, notorious for being flighty, to play for a boring, mistake-free nil-nil draw. While he correctly deduced that the Greeks could only score through opposition error, that error would've been easier to digest if you had a goal on the scoreboard.
Group B - So the Dutch were this edition's disinterested bitches. The French have been the recent favourites, but I figured it would've been the Italians. The Germans were workmanlike and unspectacular, but got what they needed out of each game. The rest of the Portugese are what they are, but C.Ronaldo (holds nose) finally stepped up in an international match, finally working into the middle and showing the punishing finishing he usually only shows to third-rate Spanish defenders in La Liga.
Group C - Spain are showing the effects of all that ass-kicking. Just like at Barcelona this season, the tiki-taka isn't as sharp and they've looked, dare we say, sloppy at times. If Casillasdidn't have a wide open header come right to him that he played into a spectacular save hadn't saved, the Croatians would've had a merry Christmas Spain would've had a problem. Sure, they wound up winning with a late goal, but that was a product of Croatia having to press, as they would've gotten the short end of the three-way tie. As for the Italians, I'm surprised that they've had the focus. I'm almost as surprised that they didn't suffer the same fate- an engineered 2-2 draw that would've bounced them- they did in 2004. They do what they do; squeeze out results, only to hear the whole nation complain about the tactics and substitution patterns.
Group D - I must have been the only person I know that had faith in this England squad. North Africa had something to prove and made good, even if they could've done better against England and tanked against Sweden. Nonetheless, France were impressive against the hosts, who were allegedly jobbed. While it's sad that, even with a guy right on the line with pretty much nothing else to do, they still can't get the call right, it all works out in the (rear) end because they were offside to begin with. Still, can these officials be any more incompetent? This is the ultimate call for replay.
I'll see about some predictions.
Group A - Dick Advocaat seemingly disregarded everything he has ever learned about football. He sent the Russians out to play cautiously against a Greek side that had been shredded to pieces in the opening part of each of its first two matches. He tried to get Russians, notorious for being flighty, to play for a boring, mistake-free nil-nil draw. While he correctly deduced that the Greeks could only score through opposition error, that error would've been easier to digest if you had a goal on the scoreboard.
Group B - So the Dutch were this edition's disinterested bitches. The French have been the recent favourites, but I figured it would've been the Italians. The Germans were workmanlike and unspectacular, but got what they needed out of each game. The rest of the Portugese are what they are, but C.Ronaldo (holds nose) finally stepped up in an international match, finally working into the middle and showing the punishing finishing he usually only shows to third-rate Spanish defenders in La Liga.
Group C - Spain are showing the effects of all that ass-kicking. Just like at Barcelona this season, the tiki-taka isn't as sharp and they've looked, dare we say, sloppy at times. If Casillas
Group D - I must have been the only person I know that had faith in this England squad. North Africa had something to prove and made good, even if they could've done better against England and tanked against Sweden. Nonetheless, France were impressive against the hosts, who were allegedly jobbed. While it's sad that, even with a guy right on the line with pretty much nothing else to do, they still can't get the call right, it all works out in the (rear) end because they were offside to begin with. Still, can these officials be any more incompetent? This is the ultimate call for replay.
I'll see about some predictions.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Not really ready (yet) for some football
Once again, a summer tournament has snuck up on us...me, anyway. There is just so much football to watch that the summer break has become as much-needed for the followers as it is for the players. Now that we've got the self-proclaimed worldwide leader plastering the games all over, where we couldn't get a peep out of them 20 years ago- I remember having to scour NYC to find a feed of a football match and spent Euro 1996 in the Hudson Club (it's not the any more), much to the detriment of my waistline- we can't get away from it. Even if I did, you can get watch on the phone on 3, or other, non-publishable websites.
I had thoughts about going, but then thought about the old joke I love to tell: Why do little Polish girls stuff fish in their panties? If you know the answer, then you know why I didn't go.
I also hear about the bustling sex tade in Ukraine. Leaving aside the moral issue, there are a lot of reasons why that would keep me away. I don't mix sex and football, possibly to my detriment. I'm definitely not into Russian birds- Ukraine, Russia, same thing- as I find them soulless. You may as well be nailing a piece of wood. Lastly, and possibly most importantly, I don't want the sloppy thirteenths of 12 drunken English pricks.
So, we open the show with GRE-POL. Last time the Greeks opened the show, they hijacked the Portuguese ship. In a disallusioned rant after Greece's improbable silver-goal victory over the Czech's, a Greek broadcaster, playing on the fact that quite a few of the explorers sailing under the Spanish flag were Greeks, wondered whether Vasco da Gama wasn't Greek.
I don't knoooooooww...he dunn't much look like C.Ronaldo or Nelly Furtado, do he? Rui Costa, nope, neither one. Maybe Figo?
The Poles, who probably wouldn't have qualified otherwise, might show a bit more pride. The issue for them is that two best Polish players are on the Germany side. I believe, however, that the Poles have a pet Brazilian. Maybe he can save us from the goalless snoozefest that this promises to be.
I'll take a stab at predicting who will get out of the groups
Group A - Russia, Greece (Depending on Russia's motivation and Poland's pride; I think the Czech's lack firepower, but you never know)
Group B - Netherlands, Germany (I think C.Ronaldo & crew will find themselves a long way from home)
Group C - Spain, Croatia (I think Italy will be too distracted and just want to GFTO of there)
Group D - North Africa*, England...(see below, I think Ibra will be looking around like he's on the Special Ed team, as he does when Milan fields a team lacking creativity)
I know of England effectively fielding a B team. Glen Johnson, Walcott and cA$hley might be the same person. While Walcott is capable of great play, all you need is the Bastard Son* or Jimmy Lennon to form a box set of semi-useless wing players. That’s surely not a national team, but it’s not god-awful.
Without Lampard out of there, Stevie G may yet accomplish something. They will have to play an unfamiliar style and hope that Lescott’s league form continues. I don’t know what Hodgson thinking putting Downing out there. I don’t even know who Scott Parker is.
The first match all depends on whether North Africa feel like playing. Against North Africa, depending on each side's motivation, I can envision England mustering a goal and possibly holding out. Ultimately, England need to get 3 points from the first two matches and wait for Shrek to ride them through. Maybe he and Stevie G can bond through reminiscing about growing up Everton fans.
* - North Africa > France
* - Bastard Son > Shaun Wright-Phillips
* - Shrek > Wayne Rooney
I had thoughts about going, but then thought about the old joke I love to tell: Why do little Polish girls stuff fish in their panties? If you know the answer, then you know why I didn't go.
I also hear about the bustling sex tade in Ukraine. Leaving aside the moral issue, there are a lot of reasons why that would keep me away. I don't mix sex and football, possibly to my detriment. I'm definitely not into Russian birds- Ukraine, Russia, same thing- as I find them soulless. You may as well be nailing a piece of wood. Lastly, and possibly most importantly, I don't want the sloppy thirteenths of 12 drunken English pricks.
So, we open the show with GRE-POL. Last time the Greeks opened the show, they hijacked the Portuguese ship. In a disallusioned rant after Greece's improbable silver-goal victory over the Czech's, a Greek broadcaster, playing on the fact that quite a few of the explorers sailing under the Spanish flag were Greeks, wondered whether Vasco da Gama wasn't Greek.
I don't knoooooooww...he dunn't much look like C.Ronaldo or Nelly Furtado, do he? Rui Costa, nope, neither one. Maybe Figo?
The Poles, who probably wouldn't have qualified otherwise, might show a bit more pride. The issue for them is that two best Polish players are on the Germany side. I believe, however, that the Poles have a pet Brazilian. Maybe he can save us from the goalless snoozefest that this promises to be.
I'll take a stab at predicting who will get out of the groups
Group A - Russia, Greece (Depending on Russia's motivation and Poland's pride; I think the Czech's lack firepower, but you never know)
Group B - Netherlands, Germany (I think C.Ronaldo & crew will find themselves a long way from home)
Group C - Spain, Croatia (I think Italy will be too distracted and just want to GFTO of there)
Group D - North Africa*, England...(see below, I think Ibra will be looking around like he's on the Special Ed team, as he does when Milan fields a team lacking creativity)
I know of England effectively fielding a B team. Glen Johnson, Walcott and cA$hley might be the same person. While Walcott is capable of great play, all you need is the Bastard Son* or Jimmy Lennon to form a box set of semi-useless wing players. That’s surely not a national team, but it’s not god-awful.
Without Lampard out of there, Stevie G may yet accomplish something. They will have to play an unfamiliar style and hope that Lescott’s league form continues. I don’t know what Hodgson thinking putting Downing out there. I don’t even know who Scott Parker is.
The first match all depends on whether North Africa feel like playing. Against North Africa, depending on each side's motivation, I can envision England mustering a goal and possibly holding out. Ultimately, England need to get 3 points from the first two matches and wait for Shrek to ride them through. Maybe he and Stevie G can bond through reminiscing about growing up Everton fans.
* - North Africa > France
* - Bastard Son > Shaun Wright-Phillips
* - Shrek > Wayne Rooney
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
League one play-off preview: Blades-Boro
Those who know me in real life- the guy behind the curtain, not this Bokolis- know that I am a supporter of AC Milan and Liverpool FC.
I acquired Liverpool first, in 1983. While football was watched in my household, all the budding anarchist in me understood was that Liverpool had some crazy fucking fans that wreaked havoc wherever they went. Liverpool's great successes had nothing to with anything.
My introduction to AC Milan came later, out of a desire to see someone take down the Swamp Rat.
Aside - That prick punching a ball into the net spawned generations of cheating South Americans; so much so that you can't play a game with them unless you are willing to cheat as much as they do. I had to watch all those games because I had to "tape" them (the kids these days DVR; back then, we taped shit) for my old man to watch when he came home. I'm still shocked that, when he goes on his subsequent run through the England squad, nobody saw fit to rip out his fucking kneecap and play keepie-uppie with it.
The footballing world was all over his dick, and it sickened me. When I watched Milan destroy Napoli at the San Siro, and as I watched Ruud Gullit- still my favorite footballer of all time- play during the 1987-88 season, ultimately winning the Scudetto, they became my team.
My dual support was relatively harmonious. In fact, it was the Milan crowd who sang "You'll Never Walk Alone" during (an Italian version of) a moment of silence just after Hillsborough. So, until 2005, I never had to choose.
Even though I'd've preferred Milan to win that Champions League Final- I didn't openly root for either- I knew that Liverpool needed it more. When people asked me how did I cope, I smiled and said that it was quite a show, wasn't it? Of course, in 2007, it was an easy decision to root for Milan.
All that said, my heart is with Stevenage FC. I told a buddy of mine, who knows my allegiances and whose wife happens to be from Stevenage, fuck Liverpool, fuck Milan; if I came into a boatload of money, I would build Stevenage a stadium.
I picked this team up as an adult- their first go-around with Newcastle in the FA Cup as a non-league side, back when they were Stevenage Borough, in 1998- and have been in love ever since. I'd tell you about those matches- not only didn't Shearer's header cross the line, but they hosed us with the offside in the first leg- but this fucker's already going to run long.
I know it seems strange to love a team you've gone over a decade without seeing play. Stevenage toiled in the Conference for years. The finally won promotion to the League in 2010- which at least got me some highlight clips here and there- and managed a play-off spot in their first year.
In between, they exacted revenge on Newcastle, beating them 3-1 in the FA Cup. The toughest hit they took in that one, other than Joey Barton's screamer, was the shot that Scott Laird took by one of the Boro supporters. Somebody was banging somebody's bird, I guess.
Thankfully, I was in Spain around the time of the League Two Playoffs, so I was able to watch the second leg against Accrington Stanley...amongst a bunch of middle-aged Stanley supporters, of course.
If I remember it correctly, Boro were 2-0 up after the first leg at Broadhall Way, and the plan was to take the air out the ball. That is pretty much what they did. I mean, ahd-damn was this game ugly. The pitch was a mess and the football was somewhat less than flowing. Stevenage mustered absolutely no offense and Stanley was rather impotent to take whatever chances they had. Stanley eventually had someone sent off. Stevenage then came out of its shell and put away the tie with a late goal.
Boro went on to defeat Torquay by the lone goal at the theatre of pisspots- while its residents were off getting pasted by Barcelona- in the final.
Stevenage have looked much sharper than I saw last season. They showed their honey badger mentality in League One, conceding the second fewest goals in the league and giving as good as they got from Spurs in the 5th round of the FA Cup.
That deep Cup run and a frigid, snowy european winter compacted the fixture list, compelling Stevenage to play 14 matches (12 league) in 47 days. The club only won two of those matches- they drew 8- and drifted down to mid-table, but rallied to win 4 and draw one in their last 5 matches to claim the final playoff spot on goal difference, largely on dealing out four pastings of 4 goals or more.
They now go against Sheffield United, two weeks after having last played them. The Blades have been in a downward spiral, which denied them automatic promotion (to the benefit of the rival Wednesday, who were on the receiving end of one of Stevenage's pastings, with the Boro supporters serenading the early-departing Owls supporters with "Is there a fire drill?").
The previous match was typical Stevenage honey badger style; going into a larger park with larger crowds than seen at Broadhall Way. United even fucked with the ticket allocation and distribution so that many Stevenage supporters did not acquire tickets, leaving a sparse visitors' section at Bramhall Lane. Bush, Blades, bush; are you going to pull the same stunt for the first leg?
Stevenage, as is typical, soaked up the early pressure and built up their own as the match progressed. They were rewarded when a counter led to a fortuitous deflection that squeezed through a defender's legs and past the Blades keeper. They kept up the pressure after the goal. A run down the left by Laird and some soft defending led to another fortuitous deflection, with Laird's shot deflecting off a poorly positioned defender and leaving the keeper stranded.
Sheffield United were fucked now, and were compelled to dust off their old weapons to salvage the match. They first brought on Richard Cresswell and Ryan Flynn on 55 minutes. Cresswell, as footballers go, is a big man. Let me tell you, he had this look on his face, like he was absolutely certain he was going to score. It wasn't a cocksure look; I've played in enough matches to sense when a guy is psyched out and when he knows he has the goods. He just fucking knew. It took him all of 10 minutes to direct a cross just inside the post.
Soon after, the Blades brought on James Beattie, ex-England international. They ratcheted up the pressure and leveled when Beattie nodded on for defender Lowton to fire home.
Boro, in true honey badger form, are too crazy to know when they are being threatened. All the while, they were pressing for a third. Robin Shroot (Shoot! Shroot) had a gilt-edged chance that he spurned. United also came close, but the match ended in a draw, consigning both sides to a play-off reprisal.
I acquired Liverpool first, in 1983. While football was watched in my household, all the budding anarchist in me understood was that Liverpool had some crazy fucking fans that wreaked havoc wherever they went. Liverpool's great successes had nothing to with anything.
My introduction to AC Milan came later, out of a desire to see someone take down the Swamp Rat.
Aside - That prick punching a ball into the net spawned generations of cheating South Americans; so much so that you can't play a game with them unless you are willing to cheat as much as they do. I had to watch all those games because I had to "tape" them (the kids these days DVR; back then, we taped shit) for my old man to watch when he came home. I'm still shocked that, when he goes on his subsequent run through the England squad, nobody saw fit to rip out his fucking kneecap and play keepie-uppie with it.
The footballing world was all over his dick, and it sickened me. When I watched Milan destroy Napoli at the San Siro, and as I watched Ruud Gullit- still my favorite footballer of all time- play during the 1987-88 season, ultimately winning the Scudetto, they became my team.
My dual support was relatively harmonious. In fact, it was the Milan crowd who sang "You'll Never Walk Alone" during (an Italian version of) a moment of silence just after Hillsborough. So, until 2005, I never had to choose.
Even though I'd've preferred Milan to win that Champions League Final- I didn't openly root for either- I knew that Liverpool needed it more. When people asked me how did I cope, I smiled and said that it was quite a show, wasn't it? Of course, in 2007, it was an easy decision to root for Milan.
All that said, my heart is with Stevenage FC. I told a buddy of mine, who knows my allegiances and whose wife happens to be from Stevenage, fuck Liverpool, fuck Milan; if I came into a boatload of money, I would build Stevenage a stadium.
I picked this team up as an adult- their first go-around with Newcastle in the FA Cup as a non-league side, back when they were Stevenage Borough, in 1998- and have been in love ever since. I'd tell you about those matches- not only didn't Shearer's header cross the line, but they hosed us with the offside in the first leg- but this fucker's already going to run long.
I know it seems strange to love a team you've gone over a decade without seeing play. Stevenage toiled in the Conference for years. The finally won promotion to the League in 2010- which at least got me some highlight clips here and there- and managed a play-off spot in their first year.
In between, they exacted revenge on Newcastle, beating them 3-1 in the FA Cup. The toughest hit they took in that one, other than Joey Barton's screamer, was the shot that Scott Laird took by one of the Boro supporters. Somebody was banging somebody's bird, I guess.
Thankfully, I was in Spain around the time of the League Two Playoffs, so I was able to watch the second leg against Accrington Stanley...amongst a bunch of middle-aged Stanley supporters, of course.
If I remember it correctly, Boro were 2-0 up after the first leg at Broadhall Way, and the plan was to take the air out the ball. That is pretty much what they did. I mean, ahd-damn was this game ugly. The pitch was a mess and the football was somewhat less than flowing. Stevenage mustered absolutely no offense and Stanley was rather impotent to take whatever chances they had. Stanley eventually had someone sent off. Stevenage then came out of its shell and put away the tie with a late goal.
Boro went on to defeat Torquay by the lone goal at the theatre of pisspots- while its residents were off getting pasted by Barcelona- in the final.
Stevenage have looked much sharper than I saw last season. They showed their honey badger mentality in League One, conceding the second fewest goals in the league and giving as good as they got from Spurs in the 5th round of the FA Cup.
That deep Cup run and a frigid, snowy european winter compacted the fixture list, compelling Stevenage to play 14 matches (12 league) in 47 days. The club only won two of those matches- they drew 8- and drifted down to mid-table, but rallied to win 4 and draw one in their last 5 matches to claim the final playoff spot on goal difference, largely on dealing out four pastings of 4 goals or more.
They now go against Sheffield United, two weeks after having last played them. The Blades have been in a downward spiral, which denied them automatic promotion (to the benefit of the rival Wednesday, who were on the receiving end of one of Stevenage's pastings, with the Boro supporters serenading the early-departing Owls supporters with "Is there a fire drill?").
The previous match was typical Stevenage honey badger style; going into a larger park with larger crowds than seen at Broadhall Way. United even fucked with the ticket allocation and distribution so that many Stevenage supporters did not acquire tickets, leaving a sparse visitors' section at Bramhall Lane. Bush, Blades, bush; are you going to pull the same stunt for the first leg?
Stevenage, as is typical, soaked up the early pressure and built up their own as the match progressed. They were rewarded when a counter led to a fortuitous deflection that squeezed through a defender's legs and past the Blades keeper. They kept up the pressure after the goal. A run down the left by Laird and some soft defending led to another fortuitous deflection, with Laird's shot deflecting off a poorly positioned defender and leaving the keeper stranded.
Sheffield United were fucked now, and were compelled to dust off their old weapons to salvage the match. They first brought on Richard Cresswell and Ryan Flynn on 55 minutes. Cresswell, as footballers go, is a big man. Let me tell you, he had this look on his face, like he was absolutely certain he was going to score. It wasn't a cocksure look; I've played in enough matches to sense when a guy is psyched out and when he knows he has the goods. He just fucking knew. It took him all of 10 minutes to direct a cross just inside the post.
Soon after, the Blades brought on James Beattie, ex-England international. They ratcheted up the pressure and leveled when Beattie nodded on for defender Lowton to fire home.
Boro, in true honey badger form, are too crazy to know when they are being threatened. All the while, they were pressing for a third. Robin Shroot (Shoot! Shroot) had a gilt-edged chance that he spurned. United also came close, but the match ended in a draw, consigning both sides to a play-off reprisal.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Just a bit of history for the rent boys
The FA Cup Final surely meant more to Liverpool than to Chelsea FC. Deep down, Chelski must know they have the strongest roster in the EPL. Because they refused to buy in to what their young coach was selling, their league form was a great disappointment. Nonetheless, Chelsea have put together some amazing Champions League nights, so this match- no matter what the Brits would have you believe- is a step down in intensity.
For Liverpool, it has been a shyte season. The club is still reeling/recovering from the previous ownership having run its finances into the ground. There was no Europe this year, no foreign talent on the team. It's as if they solely concentrated on domestic talent (if you can call Stewart Downing, Jordan Henderson and Charlie Adam "talent") to claim domestic success. Of course, they must've known that this was a mid-table team, so they put it all into winning the cups. They claimed the league cup and here we are in the FA Cup Final.
Chelski eased out to a two goal lead. The rent boys, in fine form since Di Matteo took over the reins, nonetheless came out decidedly pedestrian, as if they had other things to do.
The first 10 minutes consisted of little more than both sides hitting the ball around. Out of nothing, Chelsea capitalized when Spearing pissed away possession and Jose Enrique let Ramires walk right by him, despite having the angle. Ramires then beat Reina near-post. Courtesy of a series of blunders, this match had output without production.
Having recently played a big mach or two, Chelsea were content to adopt neutral tactics and avoid expending energy. Liverpool were in no position to attack, as their midfield was so utterly incapable of creating against the stronger Chelsea group that they had to use the defenders to advance the ball, with predictable results.
What's worse, Liverpool insisted on attacking down the left with Stewart Downing and Jose Enrique where they might've been better served doing that with Bellamy and Glen Johnson. Both Downing and Enrique had a decided speed disadvantage against their opponents. Downing, as shown all season, isn't any good anyway, offering a decent cross every tenth ball or so. That is, when he can create the space, which he usually can't.
In starting Bellamy, Kenny Dalglish wasted the spirit he would've provided by inserting him on the hour. As it was, the attack ignored him and he didn't have anything left to contribute when it was most critical. Thanks for everything Kenny, but don't you think it's time?
Another Spearing error, this time diving in on Lampard, who easily walked around him, contributed to Chelsea's second. Lampard found Drogba- who had the sense to move inside after being stuffed in Glen Johnson's pocket in the first half- in the box and DrogDrog's shot 'megged Skrtel rolled home at the far post.
The Reds, buoyed by, of all people Andy "Fatso" Carroll, made a game of it. He looked like he'd dropped a few pounds and was more assertive on the pitch than at any other point during his time at Liverpool. Some pressure and a fortuitous deflection left Carroll in the box with John Terry. Carroll shook JT and fired home over Cech.
It was game on, kind of. I mean, Chelski retreated and Liverpool were all over them. But, they still had the same issues that had previously kept them off the scoreboard. It was only the force of Carroll that made them seem likely to level. Carroll came within inches, too. He rose, unmarked at the far post, to head a cross that Cech saved off the back of the line and onto the post. While Carroll was off celebrating his equalizer, the ball caromed off the post and bounced in play, after which it was finally fucked out. Kuyt was the only one who tried to follow up, but was too late.
Both Kuyt and Carroll subsequently took down balls with space in the box, but neither had the touch needed to collect and shoot. You can say that they ran out of time, but there was plenty of time to buy a midfield and plenty of time in the first half to get their shit together. The needed Lucas; ask me 15 months ago if I would've ever thought that.
Anyway, playing out the string Liverpool play Chelski again in a few. If they win, it will be like the guy who went out with my prom date after I went away to college. Careful not to fall in, mate.
For Liverpool, it has been a shyte season. The club is still reeling/recovering from the previous ownership having run its finances into the ground. There was no Europe this year, no foreign talent on the team. It's as if they solely concentrated on domestic talent (if you can call Stewart Downing, Jordan Henderson and Charlie Adam "talent") to claim domestic success. Of course, they must've known that this was a mid-table team, so they put it all into winning the cups. They claimed the league cup and here we are in the FA Cup Final.
Chelski eased out to a two goal lead. The rent boys, in fine form since Di Matteo took over the reins, nonetheless came out decidedly pedestrian, as if they had other things to do.
The first 10 minutes consisted of little more than both sides hitting the ball around. Out of nothing, Chelsea capitalized when Spearing pissed away possession and Jose Enrique let Ramires walk right by him, despite having the angle. Ramires then beat Reina near-post. Courtesy of a series of blunders, this match had output without production.
Having recently played a big mach or two, Chelsea were content to adopt neutral tactics and avoid expending energy. Liverpool were in no position to attack, as their midfield was so utterly incapable of creating against the stronger Chelsea group that they had to use the defenders to advance the ball, with predictable results.
What's worse, Liverpool insisted on attacking down the left with Stewart Downing and Jose Enrique where they might've been better served doing that with Bellamy and Glen Johnson. Both Downing and Enrique had a decided speed disadvantage against their opponents. Downing, as shown all season, isn't any good anyway, offering a decent cross every tenth ball or so. That is, when he can create the space, which he usually can't.
In starting Bellamy, Kenny Dalglish wasted the spirit he would've provided by inserting him on the hour. As it was, the attack ignored him and he didn't have anything left to contribute when it was most critical. Thanks for everything Kenny, but don't you think it's time?
Another Spearing error, this time diving in on Lampard, who easily walked around him, contributed to Chelsea's second. Lampard found Drogba- who had the sense to move inside after being stuffed in Glen Johnson's pocket in the first half- in the box and DrogDrog's shot 'megged Skrtel rolled home at the far post.
The Reds, buoyed by, of all people Andy "Fatso" Carroll, made a game of it. He looked like he'd dropped a few pounds and was more assertive on the pitch than at any other point during his time at Liverpool. Some pressure and a fortuitous deflection left Carroll in the box with John Terry. Carroll shook JT and fired home over Cech.
It was game on, kind of. I mean, Chelski retreated and Liverpool were all over them. But, they still had the same issues that had previously kept them off the scoreboard. It was only the force of Carroll that made them seem likely to level. Carroll came within inches, too. He rose, unmarked at the far post, to head a cross that Cech saved off the back of the line and onto the post. While Carroll was off celebrating his equalizer, the ball caromed off the post and bounced in play, after which it was finally fucked out. Kuyt was the only one who tried to follow up, but was too late.
Both Kuyt and Carroll subsequently took down balls with space in the box, but neither had the touch needed to collect and shoot. You can say that they ran out of time, but there was plenty of time to buy a midfield and plenty of time in the first half to get their shit together. The needed Lucas; ask me 15 months ago if I would've ever thought that.
Anyway, playing out the string Liverpool play Chelski again in a few. If they win, it will be like the guy who went out with my prom date after I went away to college. Careful not to fall in, mate.
I decided
I decided that I will use this space to write about footie matches I've watched. We'll see how it goes.
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